Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Paying For Bad Calls

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. -- A state lawmaker and St. Louis baseball fan says umpires should pay -- literally -- for what he sees as bad calls made during the playoff series in which the Cardinals lost to the Houston Astros.

Rep. Jeff Roorda, D-Barnhart, wants to expand the state athlete and entertainer tax to also cover officials such as umpires and referees. The tax is charged to out-of-state residents who earn money in Missouri while performing in such events as baseball games and concerts. Revenues are supposed to go to the arts, public libraries and other cultural programs.

Roorda said his idea grew out of his frustration with umpires in the National League Championship Series. But he also contends that it is logical to tax the officials affecting a game's outcome, not just the athletes who play it.

"I think if they're not going to pay attention, they ought to at least pay taxes," Roorda said. "Seriously though, I think it's good public policy. Referees and umpires play a critical role in the outcome of this game and are part of the entertainment experience."

It's a start.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Shh, don't speak...

You don't have to 'splain any more. Just be here with me.

Sox Beat Angels Again

The Chicago White Sox's first world championship in 88 years was also the lowest-rated World Series ever.

Chicago's four-game sweep of the Houston Astros averaged an 11.1 national rating with a 19 share on Fox. That's down about 7 percent from the previous low, an 11.9 with a 20 share for the 2002 World Series between the Anaheim Angels and the San Francisco Giants.

You're Number One! You're Number One! You're Number One!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Pierzynski Is A Douche

LOS ANGELES - CHICAGO WHITE SOX CATCHER CAUGHT IN THE ACT: When you are a high-profile MLB player who also happens to be married and have a brand-new baby daughter... you might consider not having your picture taken multiple times while slobbering all over random hotties at a Baltimore-area meat market.

For shame. What will the children think? How many body shots did A.J. do off of Doug to get that call?

Monday, October 17, 2005

We lost the battle, but we should look to the future

The Angels were beat.

They didn't hit, and couldn't get anything started.

That still doesn't change the fact that the officiating was terrible.

I really want to look into making the officials accountable. Not for this series specifically, but going forward setup up a system or stats and review so bad apple umps like Eddings find their way out of the league and make room for other more talented officials.

There are already at least two sites out there that track an ump's statistics and can tell who has the edge on average. MLB could surely have it's own system and track and reward even handedness and good officiating.

What I want is more transparency more public review of an ump's overall performance. Sure every ump is going to have a weird call or two over the course of a season, but each ump should on balance improve the game and adhere to the rules. Read this blog and look at all of the inconsistencies and weirdness surrounding Eddings. This is a guy who's worked a lot of postseasons. That's supposed to be a reward for good umps, not a gravy train for the umps who the front office just "like".

Any suggestions as to where we get started? Congress? Demonstrations? Mass faxing MLB headquarters?

Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Douche Visits The Site

From the visitor's log:

Continent: North America
Country : United States (Facts)
State : New Mexico
City : Las Cruces
Lat/Long : 32.302, -106.7543 (Map)

The Douche must have riden his Harley home, crying all the way. "I'll show those Angels fans, I'll show them."

RedSoxLibertarian: Doug Eddings's History

Here are a list of articles on MLB games where Doug Eddings behaved inappropriately. I didn't link to situations where he was involved in a routine ejection. All these stories involve strange/inappropriate behavior or calls or accusations of being incompetent or the instigator. This seems like a pretty large display of incompetence. MLB needs to review this guy's employment status.

****I am now watching Eddings press conference. He is actually saying after seeing the replay he still thinks he made the right call. He would make a great New Orleans cop, able to(with a straight face) state facts that are clearly contradicted by video. (this one's from a fan blog complaining about Eddings performance in a specific game)
(I didn't realize Eddings was involved in that Wells incident that I blogged extensively about back in July).

I'm sure there are more than this, but this is enough to prove this guy shouldn't be umpiring a Royals-D'Rays game, let alone a LCS game.
Viva Scabby la Douche!

(I copied the whole thing -- but trimmed the URLs -- so people would know the extent of his douchebaggery)

SHAUGHNESSY: You're a Douche

As bad as it gets.

Hang your head, Major League Baseball. That means you, Bud. And all you umpires -- Doug Eddings, Ted Barrett, Ron Kulpa, Ed Rapuano, Randy Marsh, and crew chief Jerry Crawford. You stole a playoff game from the Los Angeles Angels last night. It's a game they'll never get back. A black eye on the sport. A disgrace.

Am I clear here?

The White Sox beat the Angels, 2-1, in the bottom of the ninth inning of Game 2 of the American League Championship Series last night when Joe Crede doubled home pinch runner Pablo Ozuna on an 0-and-2 pitch with two outs.

But Crede never should have batted. He got to hit only because A.J. Pierzynski was allowed to run to first base on an alleged dropped third strike by Angels catcher Josh Paul.

Add that to the crappy calls tonight. Douches all around. Douches wild.

More Evidence of Corruption

CHICAGO, Oct. 14 /PRNewswire/ -- Umpire Doug Eddings, who made the controversial dropped third strike call in Game 2 of the ALCS, will assuredly not receive a warm welcome from Angels' fans tonight in Game 3.

To make him feel a bit more comfortable, one Chicago restaurant is inviting him to dinner ... indefinitely. In the Chicago tradition of "you take care of me, I'll take care of you," Uno Chicago Grill(R) is giving Doug a clear sign: free dinner for as long as the Sox keep winning.

Uno Chicago Grill, creator of Chicago's Original Deep Dish Pizza(R), has agreed to host Doug at any Uno Chicago Grill restaurant nationwide through the Sox title run.

On top of that, if the Sox win the series, Uno will happily treat Doug to a steak dinner every week until the end of 2005. The offer is being called a "Dropped Third Steak Dinner."

Based in Boston, Uno Restaurant Holdings Corp. currently has a system of more than 200 company-owned and franchised full-service units. Uno Chicago Grill restaurants are located in 32 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, South Korea and the United Arab Emirates. The company also operates a consumer foods division which supplies airlines, movie theaters, hotel restaurants, and supermarkets with both frozen and refrigerated private-label foods and branded Uno products. For more information, visit

Was this Unos deal on the table before the game? If so I would say it's pretty clear that the Douche will do anything for a free meal.

What if free oil changes were offered? Say a Nevada Cat house or strip club put up the same offer. Or a bank!

Next time I'm in the United Arab Emirates, remind me to spit on the Unos there.

Eddings Was A Douche in 2002

Fans may recall a game from early 2002 when Eddings reversed himself and screwed the Angels:

Troy Glaus hit Erik Hiljus’ next pitch down the left field line, and the ball appeared to hit the foul pole. Third base umpire Doug Eddings originally ruled a homer, but after a conference of the umpires, the call was overturned.

“I didn’t see it,” Glaus said. “I didn’t think I hit it that far. I was running for a double. This was a first for me, to have a homer called back like that.”

“I pretty much lost it and called it a home run and then heard it hit concrete,” Eddings said. “It was the wrong call. Art (Howe) came out and said I should talk to the other umpires which I did. They all lost it too but they all heard it hit concrete so we reversed the call. If we weren’t 100 percent in that decision I wouldn’t have changed it. In my own mind after the play I thought it was foul.”

Parallel to a call a year earlier, when a ball that was an obvious home run was initially called a double by Eddings:

Saenz hit the first pitch of the third for his sixth homer, though it was originally ruled a double by second base umpire Doug Eddings. The umpires conferred at the request of Howe and changed the call. Television replays showed the ball hit well above a yellow line atop the 19-foot wall in left.

Here's the thing, Major League umps are supposed to be the best of the best. And the ones in the Post Season are supposed to be the elites.

Why in God's name is the Douche in this elite class?

A Knuckle Dragger Responds

Anonymous said...

Wow, you REALLY are a homo.


Garcia pitched a GEM. 3 Straight CG's, SUCK IT DOUCHE!!



When it says Anonymous it really means:

IP Address
ISP Comcast Cable
State : Illinois
City : Grant Park
Lat/Long : 41.2049, -87.6441 (Map)

But I digress.

Bravo Southie. Bravo.

On the cold winter nights in Chicago, sleeping next to your overweight bitchy woman, I'm sure you'll bask in the lack of Angels offense savoring the glory that is the ALCS. This ALCS will add to the shining highlights of the Whitesox. Right next to the Eight Men Out. Just call me when the Cubs win the series so we can shut them up about it (that almost worked with Boston).

I, on the other hand, will be on the beach sipping maragaritas with the blond of my choice, thinking about whether I should play another game of volleyball or let my comely companion service me again with her oral talents.

True, that's what I'd be doing regardless -- those are the breaks of Southern California.

A little simplistic maybe, but I say it's very zen.

Down 3-1

There was bad officiating tonight true. It cost the Angels a potential rally.

But our boys aren't getting it done. Vlad and company aren't hitting. That doesn't win games. Well, at maybe it does I can't remember what my coach in Little League said -- I only played for a year before the ghost of Babe Ruth appeared to me and asked me to stop playing for the good of the game.

Who was I to say no to the Babe.

And when they do get something going the Douche Patrol steps in the stop the fun.


Ron Kulpa welcome to the Douche Club.

Mr. Kulpa is the Homeplate Umpire in Game Four of the ALCS. He missed the catcher's Interference which should have lead to bases loaded for the Angels. Instead it was ignored and became a double play.

Congratulations Ron Kulpa you are a Douche.

Watching Jeff Davanon Reports

The crew over there went and has several good reports from Right Field.

From one Douche to Another

Anonymous said...





Great thanks Asshole.

This site isn't about the Southside's pitching, or about the ALCS, it's about the Scabby la Douche, aka Doug Eddings.

And that wasn't even the right place to comment -- there's an entry on the game and the Angels's crappy performance.

If anyone else wants to trash talk the Angels do it here.

Now let's get back to the Douche at hand.

HOWTO: Become a Major League Umpire in Five Easy Steps

Have you ever stopped to think about what it would be like to be an umpire? To know the fate of a game rests in your hands? What would it be like to suit up and call the shots each day?

The power tripping begins and we're not even into the actual steps.
1. Enroll in school
"Most of (the students) have not worked (a game) at all before they go to umpire school. So they have to be taught the whole realm of everything it takes to be an umpire," he said.

Lepperd said the students learn how to handle themselves both on and off the field at the schools.

Is this where the Douche learned to booze and kiss ass? Do they have life-sized Bud Selig dolls to practice nuzzling in the nether cheeks?
2. Get noticed
Fitzpatrick said good judgment and character are things instructors look for as well.

"That's very, very important because we're entrusting the integrity of the game to the umpire. So we're looking for the highest quality type of individual that we can possibly recruit," Fitzpatrick said. "The whole integrity of the game rests with the umpire out there on the field."

Well Douche certainly has gotten noticed, not necessarily for those things though...
3. Finish at top of class
After attending the five-week course during January and part of February, the top graduates are selected to attend an Evaluation course.

Topics at this advanced level include "Coping with Blindness", "Officiating with your head up your ass" and "Advanced Fellatio for the junior crew member"
4. Begin assignment in lower league
At the Evaluation course, instructors monitor the students and make recommendations to the Rookie and short-season Class-A league presidents about possible candidates for hire. Then the new umpires then begin their trek to the Majors.

They make it sound like it's a Buddhist quest for enlightenment.
5. Wait for 'The Call'
Altogether there are 68 umpires in the Majors, and 225 in the minor leagues. With the small amount of openings and the low turnover, Fitzpatrick said it's very difficult for an umpire to make it past the minor leagues.

"From attending umpire school through making it to the Major Leagues, there's very, very few umpires that actually make it to the Major Leagues. It's a long shot," he said.

If that's the case then why is this asshat in the big show? Surely there must be one among the hungry 225 in the minors that has more skill and talent than the Douche?

The problem with this system of course is that there isn't a metric. They don't keep stats on ump, although bookies do. Good umps should stay, bad umps should go and be replaced by better umps.

Seems simple.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Douchebaggery: The Big Picture

In all of sports, there's nothing quite like the baseball umpire, that odd species of stocky guys in masks and chest protectors who crouch behind the catcher calling balls and strikes. As Wednesday's game showed, they can have an enormous impact on the outcome. But what makes them different from officials in other sports is that their impact is more than just occasional. By calling balls and strikes, baseball umps play a crucial role in not only every game, but just about every pitch. And during these playoffs, one group of umpires may have played a more central role in the outcome than you might think.

A good article that raises issues about the general state of umpiring. This article along with the personal portrait by Brooks of how Eddings got his job despite his lack of talent, or more precisely his lack of experience and knack for making the wrong call at the wrong time, paints a discouraging picture of MLB.

A sister site with the same goal. Amen Brother.

Douche Pix From The Game

Douche Meets The Welcome Wagon

The fans let Eddings have it immediately.

One fan behind home plate held a bright yellow sign referring to the number on Eddings' shirt: "Eddings 88. 87 other guys were busy so we got you!" In the middle of the first, a red banner was draped over the front of the right-field bleachers reading "Eddings go home."

Nice job Angels fans. Keep up the heat.

Brooks: The Douche is a "Nice Guy"

Doug Eddings is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. He was a good friend during my days as a baseball broadcaster. But sadly, Eddings imploding on an important call was just a matter of time, which I'll detail in a moment.


I'm confident in that assertion after having talked at the time to his fellow umpires and supervisors. All of them would tell you that Doug was destined for The Show - despite what were obvious on-field shortcomings.

But being promoted to the major leagues as an umpire shouldn't be a popularity contest. And with that in mind, Eddings is an example of what is wrong with the umpire business. He was given an opportunity based more on his connections and personality than ability.

Sounds like Scabby la Douche is a product of the good ole boy network. Nice.

Grumble, grumble

They out pitched us. Fuckers.

At least they won honestly this time.

Angels need to find their pitching and their bats. Seems obvious. They can't be so shut down on offense and we really can't survive when the pitching folds.

Blah, blah, blah.

Eddings is still a douche.

I can answer all questions, it doesn't change the fact he's a Douche

John the Preacher said...

Is it possible for you to respond to a statement? All you do is try to make up some more bullshit and be funny. Your not funny. The play was very close. From the front it looks like he caught it, from the side it looks like it hit the dirt. I do not know HOW Eddings could have made that call, but it appears to be the right call.

Now will you answer anybody's comments or are you going to sit back and be a douche?

WTF. I have answered the questions. In the entire history of the prestigious blog I have been clear and forthright to my critics. Eddings is a Douche. If he thought the ball was in the dirt he should have called it as such. Period.

It was a close call and in close call situations it's incumbent upon those who are officiating to be exceedingly clear.

Scabby la Douche was anything but clear and decisive. If he was Paul would've tagged him out or made the throw to first.

As a fan I have the right to be angry and muddled and unclear. This is my blog, these are my opinions.

Enjoy them, or go sulk and buy the Douche a beer.

Douche Impostor

From Joe in MN:
Yea. I am Mr. Eddings. Thats really creditable. I am sorry that I may not have spelled everything right, I did not know that this was English class.

I am glad you responded. Oh, wait! You didn't. You just ranted on about how you thought I was the ump of that game.

Look at the reply again buddy. The ball skipped across the dirt (if you look at the side view). I am sorry you can not take a loss. No need to make up a website hating on an ump who made a questionable call. Shit happens. Get used to it buddy.

Maybe you should respond to what i said this time. That would be a nice change of pace.

Joe from MN pretends to be the Douche! Nice job asshat. But everyone knows Scabby la Douche's favorite familiar term for a man isn't 'buddy' it's 'dude' with the occasional leetspeak variation of 'd00d'.

It's those details that separate the men from the boys.

I would say that while you certainly have the innate incompetence, union rules would prohibit you from advancing in your douchey career. You'll have to wait until a labor dispute and then rise to where your full douchedom can be realized.

Watch the replays yourself. Come to the conclusion that several baseball pundits have: Eddings is a Douche.

Best. Site. Evar


An Open Letter To Soxzilla

MotownSports Fan

Originally Posted by Buddha

People need to get a life. You could tell during the press conference that the guy was upset about what happened, I feel bad for him.

Dear Soxzilla -- if that's your real name.

I'm glad you feel bad for the douche. And I'm glad you picked up he was upset about his horrible call.

But the Douche feeling bad isn't enough. There needs to be consequences. There needs to be infamy. And suspensions and demotions. Sure this call helped your cause this time, but what about next time?

This site and the fan outrage that it has helped crystallize is to ensure that people like Scabby la Douche don't call another wide strike zone, or imagine another call.

This site is standing up for America and for our god given right to play an extra inning when the score is tied and your pitcher strikes the hometeam out.

Maybe you want to live in a country where people can just pretend that their action, or rather inaction doesn't have consequence. But I for one want to be a part of that shining city of personal responsibility and good sportsmanship called baseball.

If you stand with Eddings you're standing with those who shit upon Apple pies and grandma. If you stand with Eddings, you're embracing the Mulligan, the gimme. The cheap and unfought victory.

You sir say get a life, I say I have a life and I'm proud to be an American.

Josh Paul Drinking Game

This comes from

I just realized that the Josh Paul Drinking Game (which I made up for fun last August) is now poised to sweep the nation, and has, in a sense, already swept the nation.

The original JPDG rules were: (and I don't like to drink, so the idea was that people would reverse the rules if they liked to drink)

If Josh Paul actually catches and maintains control of a pitched baseball, drink

If Josh gets a hit, drink

If Josh throws out someone trying to steal, chug

If Josh participates in a successful play at the plate, chug

I would also add a rule, if Josh is involved in any further douchebaggery, mainline an IV of Jaegermeister.

The Douche Hates The Angels

I think there are a fair amount of smoking guns here, all of which indicate that Eddings was calling Pierzynski out. This is a humongous snafu, and though it's not right to say the Angels lost because of the call, it's obvious that they were wronged. It might be asking too much for MLB to make the teams stay in Chicago and commence play with the 10th inning tomorrow, but there's a pretty strong and unavoidable taint on this game.

Scabby la Douche!

The Douche is a Liar

Nice work being done over at Baseballmusings. Keep it up.

The Douche is a Scab

Doug Eddings, according to his bio on, became a Major League umpire in 1999. That happens to be the year that Major League Umpires Association chief Richie Phillips decided to lead his members in a mass resignation because their union contract had a no-strike clause.

Major League baseball hired twenty-five minor league umpires in July, 1999, and put them on the field that September.

Doug Eddings was one of them.


First Letter to Eddings

Nice hate mail to the Douche, keep em coming.

Dear Mr. Eddings,
One of the beliefs I hold near and dear to my heart is the competitive spirit that Baseball, and in particular, playoff Baseball engenders.

There are no shot clocks, no timers, just a set of objectives and rules to guide the players. You as the plate umpire had a responsibility to yourself, the players, the fans, and most importantly the game to step it up a notch.

I know you must have been daydreaming about riding on your Harley or having a few brews with the crew, but that's no excuse for not making your call clear and your intentions known.

How do you explain to your teary eyed five year old that the umpire is an idiotic fucktard that couldn't call his way out of a stuck elevator. How can I tell him to believe the umps at his tee-ball games when he sees that umps in the majors are just incompetent boobs that would be lucky to call a beer league game?

I wiped his tears. I put him to bed, and I told him that what he saw was a bad dream -- the ump was a space alien sent down to destroy the national past time.

That didn't really soothe him, but it helped me, along with the scotch. The sweet, sweet scotch.

Remember send your letter to Eddings here:

All Things Douchey

Josh does a great job summarizing Eddings wide strike zone and powertripping. Check it out.

Caple: Mr. Eddings ... you're guilty (and a douche)

Mr. Eddings, the People's Court finds you guilty. The first rule of umpiring is to make your calls clear to everyone and the video plainly shows that you did not. You raised your fist as if you were calling him out, but you said nothing. Had you given the Angels any indication at all that the pitch had not been caught, they would have had plenty of time to throw out the runner. No game, particularly one with such importance, should ever end on such a play. You are hereby sentenced to umpire the next two games in the outfield, and we can only hope that you make the right call if Jeffrey Maier is in the bleachers.

More on the Zeus of Douches, Denkinger

Ten years ago Don Denkinger practically invented modern douchebaggery.

"The Call" remains one of the more memorable, or heatbreaking, moments in World Series history. It was Game 6 of the 1985 World Series, with the St. Louis Cardinals leading the Kansas City Royals 3 games to 2. The Cardinals had taken a 1-0 lead on an 8th-inning single by little-used backup catcher Brian Harper after Danny Cox (of the Cardinals) and Charlie Leibrandt (of the Royals) had battled tit-for-tat all game long. Todd Worrell was now in the game for the Cardinals in the 9th inning, facing Jorge Orta for the Royals. Orta hit a slow roller to first baseman Jack Clark, who tossed to Worrell covering first base. First-base umpire Denkinger called Orta safe, but later replays and photographs showed he was clearly out by a step. According to Denkinger, he got too close to the play, first looked at Worrell's glove, and a second later looked at Orta's foot.

After the call, St. Louis collapsed and allowed Kansas City to score two runs in the inning and win the game 2-1.

Shortly after the game, Denkinger found Commissioner Peter Ueberroth – who was in utter disbelief when the call happened – waiting for him at the umpires' room. When Denkinger asked Ueberroth if he got the call right, Ueberroth bluntly told Denkinger "no!"

Bud Selig couldn't find balls like that even if his wife took them out of her purse and left him a note on how to reattach them.

The Call has previously been listed as the worst call in all of Sports by

1. Denkinger calls Orta safe
In arguably the most controversial call in World Series history, Don Denkinger calls the Royals' Jorge Orta safe at first base in the ninth inning of Game 6 of the 1985 Series against the Cardinals. TV replays show that St. Louis pitcher Todd Worrell had clearly beaten Orta to the bag, but Denkinger's call sets the stage for a two-run Royals rally in a critical 2-1 victory. Kansas City goes on to win the Series in seven games.
Denkinger has new company in the Pantheon of Douches.

Dude, Your Buddy's a Douche

The Douche "Feels Bad"

ANAHEIM -- The umpire who made the controversial dropped third strike call in Game 2 of the American League Championship Series said yesterday he "absolutely" made the right call, but admitted he was wrong in the manner in which he called it.

"I think I've got to change my mechanic a little," Doug Eddings said upon arriving at John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, Calif. Eddings' raised, clenched fist for a strike call is similar to a traditional out call. "That's why I feel bad. I should have given a safe sign."

Change your mechanic a little? How about just adopting a mechanic you Douche? That would be helpful and communicative and fair.

Or you could just continue to call and signal everything in that beautiful mind of yours. And we could just pretend this all didn't happen. You Douche!

Rapoport: You're a Douche

Strike three, Joe Buck said.

Strike three, Tim McCarver said.

Strike three, Lou Piniella said.

Still in play, said Doug Eddings, the only man whose opinion counted. Who are you going to believe -- me or your lying eyes?

That's one way to win a ballgame, I suppose.

It's a sad day when you eclipse McCarver in Douchedom. Some thought it impossible, but kudos to you sir.

Hal Bodley Agrees, Has Ginormous Head

ST. LOUIS — Let's make this very clear: What happened in Chicago on Wednesday night shouldn't have happened and should never happen again.

It was a black mark for baseball.

The game between the White Sox and Los Angeles Angels was too important for it to turn on a controversial call by home-plate umpire Doug Eddings.

Eddings had to let Angels catcher Josh Paul know whether the ball was caught — or trapped. That's the umpire's responsibility.

Eddings signaled a strikeout — it looked like an out call — in the controversial ruling that will have baseball graybeards talking for years. He says he did not shout, "No catch!" He should have.

Thanks for your support Hal!

But seriously, have you and Mr. Met ever been in the same room at the same time?

One Douche Reaches Out To The Newest Member of the Club

ANAHEIM - Sometime Friday, before umpire Doug Eddings faces the fury of Los Angeles Angels fans from his post along the right-field line, his cell phone will ring.

On the other end will be someone who can relate to Eddings' ordeal of the last two days better than anybody, a fellow man in blue who also alienated a city and its baseball fans one October night by making a split-second call that lingers still, 20 years later.

Don Denkinger does not know exactly what he will say to Eddings; only that he wants the 37-year-old to hear it.

"I just need to call Doug, and maybe it would lift his spirits," said Denkinger, the umpire whose blown call at first base on a Jorge Orta grounder in Game 6 of the 1985 World Series receives credit for the Kansas City Royals rallying to beat the St. Louis Cardinals.

"I can tell him what he has to look forward to and maybe how this will affect the rest of his career," said Denkinger, 69. "It's not going to be easy, but he can get through it."

Denkinger went on to say that the benefits of being in the Douche club are great.

Besides all of the road tail that comes along with being an infamous Douche, there is $1 million death and dismemberment insurance, lasik surgery to actually worsen your eyesight, and the sinking feeling in your gut that only your dead mother still loves you "from up there in the clouds".

Douche Pretends to be Victim of Unwanted Fame

ANAHEIM, Calif., Oct. 13 - He was seated in 1F on American Airlines Flight 1455, his eyes closed and his headphones on. Twenty feet away, passengers discussed the frantic way the Chicago White Sox stifled the Los Angeles Angels, 2-1, in Game 2 of the American League Championship Series. The man in 1F had been immersed in the chaos the night before, but he could not hear them.

Doug Eddings, the home-plate umpire who made a disputed call that helped the White Sox win in the ninth inning Wednesday night, was in first class on the flight from Chicago to Santa Ana, Calif., on Thursday. He undoubtedly wished he could remain anonymous.

But Eddings will no longer be an anonymous man in blue. After ruling that catcher Josh Paul trapped Kelvim Escobar's third strike to A. J. Pierzynski, allowing Pierzynski to dash to first base and later score the winning run, Eddings became notorious.

"You don't want that," Eddings said. "You want everything to go smoothly. But that's why they pay me to do this job. In tough situations, you're going to have to step above it and handle it."

After Eddings exited the plane, two Orange County sheriffs and a Major League Baseball security officer were there to escort him.

Poor little douche. I would have thought with his unholy nipples of steel he would be able to take all comers at John Wayne International.

In my opinion this guy wanted to be as anonymous as Paris Hilton. With his showboating calls. I wouldn't be surprised if we see the Douche's sextape -- "A Night of Douchebaggery" -- hit the net by the World Series.

Welcome Deadspinners

Enjoy reveling in the douchedom.

And a big fuck you to White Sox fans.

Statement of Philosophy

We feel that DougEddingsIsADouche needs a bit of an editorial basis.

It's not that we're blind loyalists when it comes to the Angels. We would have liked to see the Angels win Game 2 of the ALCS, but only if the win was fair and square. And we wouldn't have minded losing, particularly with our sloppy play in the early innings, as long as we were beat honestly. (When we were swept in the Division series last year by Boston we hardly bellyached at all.)

What we take exception to is the fact that the White Sox needed a thumb on the scale to beat our road weary boys. The unfairness, the umpire activism, the anti-American nature of the loss is what's bitter.

It would be like corpses voting for president.

Or turning firehoses on hippies.

Or being called the Second City, even though you're the third city in terms of population.

Considering your club's illustrious history, we would think that White Sox fans would want any sort of win or loss to be unimpeachable. Game 2 stunk of the most foul sort of victory.

Cheap, like a Southside woman.

I hope the rest of the series will go forward without a hitch. If it doesn't, the Black Sox moniker sure seems appropriate again.

Doug Eddings Responds

We here at DougEddingsIsADouche have just received our first negative reaction.

Anonymous said...

Wow man, YOUR the douche here. Maybe if ur little bitch catcher tagged somebody, we would not be talking about this. Crede made the run score. So its not like that pitch ended the game. The pitcher still could have made the right pitches.

Your just jealous that Doug made the right call.

Get a hobby.


4:06 AM

Wonderful. Priceless.

I can only assume that this was written by Mr. Eddings himself. The misspellings and grammar gaffes point to an average Chicagoan writing this anonymous critique.

A clever Eddings ruse.

The true author is revealed by the last line "GO WHITE SOX!". Only Eddings himself could make such a fine and subtle point.

Hate Mail Contest

Send your most creative hate mail to the above address and I'll post the best of them.

Is this our Douche?

Is it me, or are his nipples hard? He has nipples that can defeat chest protectors.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

More Stats on Eddings


The Full Story on the Estrada ejection

MIAMI — Two Braves could face suspensions after a heated argument in Thursday night's rain-delayed series finale against the Marlins at Dolphins Stadium.

Catcher Johnny Estrada and injured pitcher Mike Hampton were ejected along with manager Bobby Cox in the first inning, when tempers flared over an apparent exchange of words between Estrada and home-plate umpire Doug Eddings.

The game didn't start until 9:51 p.m., following a rain delay of 2 hours, 46 minutes. And before the first inning was through, emotions boiled over.

Marlins catcher Paul Lo Duca was batting with two out in the first inning and three Florida runs already in when the incident occurred. Lo Duca had called time out and stepped out of the batter's box for a moment.

TV replays appeared to show Estrada turning his head slightly and speaking to Eddings while in his catcher's crouch.

As Lo Duca was stepping back into the box, Estrada sprang up and wheeled around toward Eddings, dropping his mitt and going face-to-face with the umpire, who immediately ejected him.

Cox ran out of the dugout and got between Estrada and Eddings, as the furious catcher continued shouting at the umpire. Cox picked up the argument, threw his cap and was tossed from the game by Eddings.

As Cox argued, hitting coach Terry Pendleton held back Estrada and tried to calm him. Estrada continued shouting from across the field and was caught by TV cameras flipping his middle finger at Eddings from the dugout.

Eddings apparently heard Hampton say something from the dugout, pointed toward him and told the pitcher he was ejected. Hampton is on the disabled list, and players on the DL face suspensions for arguing with umpires.

The Thread on

Seems pretty interesting. I haven't read it all, but I'm sure most of the people will come to the same opinion as me -- Doug Eddings is a Douche.

Eddings's Gambling Odds

I didn't even know they kept stats on umps. I wonder if the Douche follows these...

Leslie Nielsen was very influential

Still, this warning was not the only poor decision made by an umpire in the Twins-Indians series. No, a much worse decision was made by Doug Eddings. Eddings, you see, woke up yesterday and thought, “I am going to be the home plate umpire tonight. I hear that the Grand Ole Creamery closes at 10pm tonight. If I’m going a scoop of butter brickle and a scoop of cinnamon ice cream in one of their homemade waffle cones, then I’m going to have to find a way to get the game to end quickly.”

He pondered how to end the game, and then remembered the greatest baseball scene in the history of movies. “Hmm,” Eddings thought, “Frank Drebin had to delay a game as long as possible so he started calling pitches balls and players safe when they were obviously out. If I call every single pitch a strike, then the game will end very quickly. My plan cannot fail.”

So Eddings set out to call every pitch a strike. Many hitters complained. Aaron Boone wasn’t happy, but Eddings pointed out that one strikeout wasn’t the reason that he’s the worst hitter this side of Cristian Guzman. Jody Gerut was perturbed, but Eddings reminded him that his last name should be pronouced Je-rut.

Justin Morneau wasn’t happy, but before Eddings could say anything, Brad Radke would run to the edge of the dugout and yell, “Hey Justin, shut up! Don’t you see? I can throw pitch after pitch wherever I want. If this umpire is going to keep allowing me to throw pitches eight inches outside and have them called strikes, then I will be unstoppable! If you keep striking out, then I shall become more powerful than the Indians could possibly imagine.”

I see I'm not the only one who's made the Naked Gun connection to the douche.

Activist Umpiring

But this was as nothing compared to Doug the Lung’s brilliant call in the inning 4. When the ball thrower hit the stick holder, Eddings deduced that he did it on purpose. From this moment on, Eddings had complete control of the game. His dismissal of the old person who came out to quibble with this call was masterful.

Or so Doug Eddings would have us believe. He was a strutting incompetent buffoon who described the strike zone as a fractal.

The warning in the 4th changed the game. Beckett was chasing the hitters off with fastballs around the head, 4 by the 4th, and then dropping the big curve; he couldn’t do that any longer. As a consequence the hitters were diving in. Everett’s homer was a consequence of his not worrying about anything inside. It also visibly freaked out Rodriguez.

He simply doesn't want to officiate the game, he wants to be the game. It's my opinion that he watched Naked Gun too much as a kid. It inspired him that the fat man with the pad could really save the Queen from a gun-toting Reggie Jackson and change the course of a game.

In politics thats called activist judges. The games should be decided by the players on the field, with guidance from those officiating. It shouldn't come down to rest on the shoulders of a douche bag.

Craig Biggio Knew

Craig Biggio was sent up to bat for Clemens in the seventh after a one-out single by Ausmus. Biggio, who has been hit by a major league-record 271 pitches, leaned into the first pitch he saw from Weaver and it struck him near the left elbow. But umpire Doug Eddings ordered Biggio to stay in the batter's box, ruling that he did not attempt to get out of the way.

"I thought it was a great call," Weaver said. "Biggio got his elbow all the way to the outer third of the plate, and with that huge guard on his arm, there's no incentive for him to move. I'm pretty sure that pitch would have been a strike if he didn't put his elbow out there."

Biggio and manager Phil Garner argued with Eddings to no avail. Biggio then flied out to right field and slammed his bat in disgust before running to first base. Eddings pointed to the bat, signifying that Biggio would be fined for his actions, then ejected him for continuing the argument. Biggio threw his batting helmet away and at one point had to be restrained by third base coach Doug Mansolino. Garner was ejected moments later by Eddings.

"Maybe he read the article where I said that's never happened to me before," Biggio said. "I mean, I've had some that were questionable -- but, come on. I'm sitting on the bench all day, the guy throws a slider at you and it hits you in the middle of the batter's box. That was only my second ejection. I guess I'm a big troublemaker."

Looks like being a Douche is familiar territory for old Doug.

He didn't list douchebaggery

Doug Eddings 88

PERSONAL: Douglas Eddings...born on September 14, 1968 in Las Cruces, NM...currently resides in Las Cruces, NM...single...attended New Mexico State University... began umpiring Little League games at the age of 14...enjoys golf, working out and riding his Harley-Davidson...would want to be a Secret Service agent if he was not an umpire.

It's amazing to me that such quality douchebaggery is still on the market. Ladies of Las Cruces are you listening?

Johnny Estrada Knew

July 15 Major League Baseball suspended Johnny Estrada for three games Friday for making contact with umpire Doug Eddings on June 30, according to the AP. Estrada was also fined an undisclosed amount of money. Unless appealed, the suspension with start with tonight's game against the Mets.

What happened here? Sounds like Johnny Estrada knew back in June what the whole world knows now, Doug Eddings is a douche.

Open Season on the Douche

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- The Los Angeles Angels know their typically well-behaved fans probably will be more riled up than ever when umpire Doug Eddings takes the field for Game 3 of the AL championship series.

That's not enough for Angels officials to bring on added security for Friday night's game in the right-field area where Eddings will be working.

Good. Bring your Eddings is a Douche signs. And scream bloody murder at him.


This is an opinion based blog dedicated to simple thesis that Major League Umpire Doug Eddings is a douche. Have fun.